Sometimes, you have to lose hard to win big

There are few things more painful in business – and, let us be honest, in life too – than losing something you really believed in.

I know how difficult that can be because I have experienced failure on a pretty serious scale. More than 20 years ago, the business I had spent years building collapsed.

Separate the failure from your identity

The first thing I learned was to separate the failure from your identity. A deal that did not happen does not make you a failure. A business that did not survive does not define you.

That distinction matters because if you make the failure personal, it becomes much harder to think clearly about what actually went wrong and what to do next.

Work out exactly why you lost

The next step is to work out exactly why you lost. Be brutally honest with yourself, without turning that honesty into self-punishment.

And do not just ask what went wrong. Look at what you could have done differently while you still had the chance.

Keep moving

During my days in the wilderness I also learned that you must keep moving. When my own business collapsed, I could have spent months going over what might have been. Instead, I made myself start working on what came next.

Starting again did not mean pretending the failure had not happened. Instead I used it as a learning experience, and the lessons it taught me shaped everything I built afterwards.

Do not make your next decision to undo the last

There is another important lesson here: do not make your next decision simply to undo your last one. When something goes wrong, the temptation is to do the opposite. That is rarely the right answer.

Remember that setbacks can change your direction

Finally, remember that setbacks can change your direction in ways you cannot see at the time. As they say, the door that closes often leads you to a better one.

So if you have just lost something that mattered, allow yourself to be disappointed. Just look at it properly, take the lessons and then move forward.

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