Lizzo vs. Everybody: A Love Story
Lizzo blasted social media, algorithms and Atlantic Records while begging listeners to notice her new album before the internet buries it.
Black News 
Folks, Lizzo is out here fighting so many battles simultaneously that she’s basically become a one-woman Navy SEAL team. GYAT! Except instead of enemy soldiers, she’s up against Instagram, the algorithm, her record label, and the entire comment section of the internet. Godspeed, queen.
Here’s where we are. Lizzo has a new album dropping June 5th. PROMO! It’s called B####. Which, honestly, is the most accurate title for an album released under these circumstances. Life is, the industry is… She could not have named it better if she tried. She did not do an interview with us, but she’s no b-word.
Now, you’d think a Grammy-winning superstar dropping an album would be everywhere. Billboards, your aunt’s Facebook feed or in Times Square, but apparently, Atlantic Records had other plans. According to Lizzy, the plan was doing absolutely nothing.
One fan hopped in Lizzo’s comments and asked, “Hey, why haven’t I seen any ads for this album?” And Lizzo responded, “Baby, I’m asking the same question.” Riffing! It has been crickets, she says. At this point, crickets should be listed as producers on the album. They singing a lot.
But wait — there’s more! Opponent number one is the algorithm. The algorithm, people. I hate The Algo! That invisible gremlin is living inside your phone and it decides you need to see seventeen fight videos before you see stuff about Lizzo’s album. I won’t lie, I like those fight vides. But I digress.
Maybe all of this is because she has bucked against the gremlin. She went on TikTok and said the algorithm is destroying the music industry. And look, I’m not saying she’s wrong, but there are others that may say she benefited in the past. I am definitively saying she posted this on the app that is allegedly destroying the music industry. Make it make sense. This is like going to the fire to complain about how hot it is in here.
She also pointed out that she has a private account with 280,000 followers and even that can’t reach people. Right. Algo said, “Nah. Let’s show them Sexyy Red and. her crotch.” Noice. But…there…is…more. Lizzo added in a caption stating that the algorithm might be “racist and fat phobic.” OK.
Most haters are licking their chops that this project will flop. Washington D.C. is happy about that Go-Go remake jawn though.
So to recap: Lizzo is currently at war with a major record label, the social media industrial complex, systemic algorithmic bias, and an army of people online who have decided an album is a flop before it has physically existed on Earth. DAMN.
And through all of it — all of it — she keeps posting. She is keeping that dag-on flute in hand and her dignity mostly intact.
June 5th, everybody. PROMO! The album is called B####.
Man, Lizzo is even on the streets.
