Let’s Talk About Sex: Why More Black Women Are Exploring Tech-Enhanced Pleasure

Let’s be real: the presence of technology is all up and through our everyday lives. Most of us have come to appreciate it for how it makes life easier. Platforms like ChatGPT act as a second brain to help us generate ideas for work, respond to emails in a more tactful manner, or create a budget. Devices can help organize our schedules, track our steps and monitor how we sleep. But it seems that at rapid speed, tech is also reshaping how we experience pleasure, so it was only a matter of time before it showed up in the bedroom too…and not just in the form of a basic dildo or vibrator. From remote-controlled vibrators to syncs to music for a more dynamic experience. Instead of viewing technology as a distraction from intimacy, couples are using it to their advantage; some are experimenting with Bluetooth-enabled toys during video calls, and others are taking foreplay to another level with wearables that discreetly buzz during date night. I’m personally a big fan of the We Vibe Chorus, which comes with a squeezable remote that gives your partner control of your climax in person, but it also has a custom app for long-distance play.

But here’s the thing: this tech isn’t just for couples. Solo pleasure is evolving, too. Many devices now utilize AI to learn about your preferences and adjust their rhythm or intensity accordingly. For example, the Kuirkish g-spot vibrator is built with an AI-powered C9 chip inside and enhances your pleasure by syncing the device with your favorite adult videos. While viewing, you can actually feel the vibrations match the action on screen, leading to a mind-blowing climax.

For couples looking to keep the spark alive, technology helps maintain passion during long periods apart.

Ashley, 32, lives in Silver Spring, Maryland, while her husband Corey, 34, is deployed overseas. “To not be able to kiss and cuddle with my husband on a daily basis is hard, but it’s something that we discussed and planned for. And in the long run, I believe it will strengthen our intimacy and connection as a whole,” she says. Ashley has been living apart from her husband for the past seven months. “My husband and I use a remote-controlled toy during video chats, and it makes us feel like we’re sharing something real even when we’re apart. It’s playful, it’s sexy, and it’s something to look forward to.”

The fact that there’s much more than the age-old phone sex to fall back on for couples looking to heat up their sex lives now is because of how far technology has come. Rather than eliminating the human connection, these devices present an opportunity to bond over something new and experiment together. And even if you’re dating locally or living with your partner, tech can still spice things up, allowing you to explore fantasies you’ve never talked about before, or heighten orgasms with the help of a rechargeable little friend.

Years ago, I remember watching Her, a 2013 science-fiction film about a man (Joaquin Phoenix) who falls in love with his operating system (a Siri of sorts) named Samantha (voiced by Scarlett Johansson). Back then, I couldn’t fathom the idea of falling in love with a robot, or even wanting to engage in conversation with one beyond asking about the weather. Fast forward to 2025, and technology has brought the film’s theme to life.

Sex tech isn’t just about using futuristic toys to climax—it’s about companionship. And in the midst of a loneliness epidemic, the idea of artificial intimacy might not feel so odd to some.

AI apps like Replika or Blush offer AI “partners” who you can engage in conversation with, learn from, and ones who can help you craft witty responses to a flirty text. AI-enabled apps like Winggg provide prompts for first-date small talk, intros to shoot your shot on dating apps, and even breakup texts.

I know, I know…the idea of speaking intimately to a bot sounds wild, but hear me out: for a lot of folks (especially single Sex Tech

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