What a Psychiatrist Wants You to Know After Kids Leave the Nest

If your kids have recently left home and you’re struggling with it, Dr Michele Rogers, a Consultant Psychiatrist, is sharing her wisdom and insight on something MANY parents go through…the... The post What a Psychiatrist Wants You to Know After Kids Leave the Nest appeared first on Good Things Guy.

May 18, 2026 - 09:14

What a Psychiatrist Wants You to Know After Kids Leave the Nest

If your kids have recently left home and you’re struggling with it, Dr Michele Rogers, a Consultant Psychiatrist, is sharing her wisdom and insight on something MANY parents go through…the ‘Empty Nest Syndrome’.

South Africa (18 May 2026) – Wondering why you feel so lost now that the house is finally quiet? Dr Rogers has some helpful things to say.

The kids are finding their own feet in the world, and you just won your schedule back. You should be thriving as you planned, all those many years before. Instead, you’re feeling tearful, a little purposeless, and checking your phone every hour to make sure they’re okay.

Sound familiar? You are not alone on that one. What you’re feeling even has a name, it’s called the ‘Empty Nest Syndrome’ or ENS. It’s a completely normal response to one of the biggest transitions parenthood throws at you.

The question worth asking, though, is whether it’s just ENS or whether it’s tipping into something more serious.

“Whilst for some parents the difficulty transitioning to their new role may result in depression, for many it can be a time of successfully moving into the next chapter of their lives – a period of freedom from the day-to-day parenting juggle and an opportunity for renewed self-growth, both individually and as a couple.” shares Dr Rogers.

That said, the two can look similar on the surface, so it’s worth knowing how to tell them apart. The biggest difference comes down to what’s driving it and how it plays out over time.

“ENS refers to a collection of emotions and responses linked to a specific life transition, whereas depression is a mental illness that can arise in any circumstances, at any stage of life,” Dr Rogers explains.

ENS is tied to this moment of your child leaving. Depression runs deeper and doesn’t need a reason. One can lead to the other, though, which is why you need to pay attention to how you’re coping as the weeks go on.

There are some specific warning signs Dr Rogers flags…things that would suggest it’s time to get some proper support.

“Hopelessness, social withdrawal, disinterest, insomnia, anxiety, poor self-care, or suicidal ideation are red flags to watch out for. Additional indicators include increased substance use, excessive crying, difficulty managing daily responsibilities, impaired concentration, and an inability to cope with work demands.”

Seek help if you are experiencing any of those red flags – you should not push through it alone.

The experience of an empty nest also looks different for everyone, and a whole lot of factors play into how hard the transition may hit you.

“In some cases, the transition may ease financial pressure if an adult child becomes independent. In others, it may increase strain, particularly where parents continue to support children through further education or accommodation,” says Dr Rogers. “Family structure also plays a role, with single parents often finding the adjustment more challenging, while differing expectations between parents and children can add tension.”

For many parents, ENS lands right in the middle of other big life changes, too. Along comes retirement, money stress, menopause, and suddenly becoming the caregiver for your own ageing parents. When everything piles up all at once, it gets harder to find your footing, and the risk of sliding into depression does go up.

Some parents are also more prone to struggling with this than others.

“Stay-at-home parents who have dedicated their life to child raising are traditionally perceived to be at greater risk of struggling to adapt to this transition in life. Single parents, parents who have a pre-existing mental health or physical health difficulty, and parents who are deeply enmeshed with their children, are all potentially at greater risk of depression.”

ENS does not have to become depression – how you handle it makes a difference.

“In some cases, ENS may resemble a short-lived depressive state, but many people navigate this transition successfully without it developing into a more persistent condition.”

Dr Rogers says the starting point is being honest with yourself about how big and significant this change actually is.

“It is important to acknowledge the time, energy, and commitment that parenting has required, while also recognising that your child’s growing independence is a healthy and necessary part of their development.”

In other words…be kind to yourself. You’ve spent years with your whole life shaped around being a parent. Of course, it’s going to feel strange when that shifts.

From there, she recommends getting intentional about filling that space with things that matter to you, like staying connected with your child, nurturing your friendships, getting involved in your community, picking up a new hobby or skill, moving your body, travelling if you can, and if you have a partner, actually making time for each other again.

And if you’re really struggling, it’s always better to reach out. There’s no prize for white-knuckling through this on your own.

“If you are struggling, consider speaking to a psychiatrist, a counsellor, your GP or lean on close friends. Joining a support group or contacting local mental health NGOs in your area may also be helpful.”

ENS is hard, but it’s not the end of the road for you. It’s the start of a new chapter. Where things might even get interesting again…

“…With the right perspective and support, this stage of life can also mark the beginning of a meaningful and fulfilling new chapter.”

If you’re battling empty nest syndrome, depression, or any other mental health challenge, help and support are available. You don’t have to navigate this alone.