Body as Bureaucracy?
I have a lot of pain at the moment and doctors have said it is referred pain. I thought: oh great, my body is bureaucracy. Is this pain, now it is referred, going to be filled away and lost? Will my pain have a backlog? Is my fatigue the slowness of the system? Has my ... Body as Bureaucracy?
Black News 
I have a lot of pain at the moment and doctors have said it is referred pain. I thought: oh great, my body is bureaucracy. Is this pain, now it is referred, going to be filled away and lost? Will my pain have a backlog? Is my fatigue the slowness of the system? Has my heart turned Kafkaesque, seeking home, but is put on a path that leads nowhere, policed and brutalised. Luckily I found my heart in art, literature, nature, and animals. The external world hates my pain, and has created a whole world to deny it. The bureaucracy is imposed on me, the body something to be managed, regulated and ultimately misunderstood. My breath is processed to see if it has the right to keep doing that, because if it is not productive enough, compliant enough for the greedmongers, it is stamped as failure. Bureaucracy should never be a blueprint for humanity and how to live, but it is forced on disabled people. Turn away from God, the sun, love, from puppies; the meaning of life is in a form that goes nowhere. We are not failures, it is the system that is unable to accommodate nuance and complexity that fails humanity.
When some of us put in requests for decency, rest, dignity, adaptation, our requests are denied. The machine that devours cannot swallow the truth. We must fit in the cookie cutter made of razor blades. It cannot be bent out of shape to allow freedom and humanity. Disabled bodies and minds exceed these moulds. Human variation must not be tolerated: the machine cannot cope with that. Greed cannot be greedy with that. You must be easy to manage and file away. We do not have the forms to prove the right to existence, we would tear them up anyway.
But this constant fighting against oppression means our time and life is understaffed. It takes a lot from us. They say: can you prove your pain, when they are only giving us pain. But the tiny department of strength, love, and hope shines light to show a path forward.
You have a right to life. You need not fill a form for me to prove it. Life has a right to life whatever form it takes. I say: Every heart is APPROVED.
