Theda’s story

For nearly twenty-five years, Theda Wilson has lived a mother’s worst nightmare. In 2003, her son Christian Ferguson disappeared under mysterious circumstances from a St. Louis intersection.

Christian was nine years old at the time. He lived with special needs due to a rare genetic condition, and his disappearance gripped the St. Louis community.

Filmmaker Alana Marie was only 13 when Christian went missing, but the case stayed with her.

“It just stuck in my spirit,” Marie said. “I would see his poster and see his face on the bus stop, and what happened to him was always a lingering question. And I would wonder how his mom was doing.”

The curious teen grew into an emerging filmmaker. And on Saturday afternoon at the St. Louis Public Library’s Central Branch, she presented her short film “Theda Roxanne.”

What began as a lingering question about a familiar case evolved into a story about the woman who woke up each day determined to find the truth about her son. In that pursuit, Wilson also found the strength to help other mothers and families searching for their missing loved ones.

“I’m learning how to live,” Wilson said in the film. “Actually telling my story is… it’s a burden, but it’s a blessing. A burden blessing.”

After the screening, Kara Anthony of Kaiser Health News moderated a conversation with Marie and Wilson.

“This film has been a lot of work, a lot of labor that I am grateful you entrusted us with,” Marie said.

The small but dedicated team of three spent five years bringing Wilson’s story to the screen — a commitment Wilson did not take lightly.

“It was wonderful to know that somebody wanted to see that I wasn’t just ‘that little boy’s mama,’” Wilson said.

While the film offered glimpses of Wilson through the eyes of family and friends — including her friendship with Paula Hill, mother of missing Berkeley teen Shemika Cosey — Anthony guided the discussion back to the case that thrust Wilson into the public eye.

“Tell us a little bit more about who your son was,” Anthony asked. “Or do you refer to him in the present?”

Even without answers, Wilson has had to face a painful truth in the two decades since she last saw Christian.

“I acknowledge the transition that has happened,” she said. “But he’s still quite present. I do understand absence from the body, present with the Lord.”

Christian’s father, Dawan Ferguson, is serving two life sentences for first-degree murder in connection with the case. Wilson still has no clarity about what happened to her son before or after his disappearance, but she knows his medical needs made survival without medication impossible.

“I’m thinking about making a plan to go and visit him and see if he will tell me the truth,” Wilson said. “Even though I know how he is — he just loves to see me go through.”

Dawan’s incarceration has not brought the answers or justice she deserves, but it has brought a measure of peace.

“I’ve learned to live without knowing,” Wilson said. “But I felt like I was in prison while he was out there.”

Out of her pain came purpose. Wilson founded the Looking For An Angel Foundation, which provides services, support, and information to families searching for missing loved ones. The organization also advocates for legislation and standard best practices for law enforcement.

Still, the past 23 years have been anything but easy. Wilson shared the emotional toll of enduring Dawan’s trial.

“I was suicidal,” she said. “I was in the courtroom ready to jump from the ninth-floor window. But look at me now. I’ve come to a point where I can tell my story to help people know who I am and why I do what I do.”

During the Q&A, Wilson’s mother, Sandra Wilson, praised the film and the women behind it.

“I never thought, in all my years, somebody would do something like this for my daughter,” she said. “At one time, we sent information to Oprah Winfrey and were turned down. We sent information to NBC and ABC and were turned down.”

Sandra Wilson also appreciated the care taken to show her daughter fully — the singer, the educator, the advocate, the activist.

“This documentary is important because I remember how the news portrayed my daughter,” she said. “They were putting us down. And what does that say to our community? So it is important that people see my daughter as she is.”

Living It content is produced with funding by the ARPA for the Arts grants program in partnership with the Regional Arts Commission of St. Louis and the Community Development Administration.

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