Who Sees the Mother!

As May came to an end and we celebrated mothers, I could not help but reflect on a story that made headlines in every newspaper – the lady who allegedly dumped her twins in a riverbed.

Newspapers are replete with headlines about babies being abandoned in a riverbed, dumped in a pit latrine, left in a plastic bag or discovered behind a building.

Society often reacts with outrage before compassion. Citing, “How could a mother do this?” But perhaps the more difficult question that no one bothers to ask is, what happened to that mother before she reached that moment of desperation?

Baby dumping is not simply a criminal issue. It is a social, economic, mental health and human dignity crisis. It is a mirror reflecting how societies treat vulnerable women, especially poor women, young women, survivors of abuse and mothers facing overwhelming emotional distress.

The uncomfortable truth is that baby abandonment happens in both developing and developed countries. However, the difference lies in how societies respond. Some countries punish desperate mothers. Others build systems that prevent desperation from turning into tragedy.

In the United States (US), despite being one of the world’s wealthiest democracies, infant abandonment remains a serious concern.

According to the National Safe Haven Alliance, more than 1 600 babies were illegally abandoned in the US between 1999 and 2021.

Of those, over 900 infants were found deceased. Yet the same report also revealed that more than 4 500 babies were safely surrendered under Safe Haven laws during that period.

These Safe Haven laws allow mothers in crisis to legally and anonymously hand over newborn babies at hospitals, fire stations or designated safety centres without fear of prosecution.

The laws emerged not because democratic societies condoned abandonment, but because they recognised a painful reality, yet sometimes panic, fear, trauma, poverty, abuse, postpartum depression, stigma or abandonment by partners can push mothers into unimaginable psychological distress.

Countries such as Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, Italy, South Korea and parts of the US have introduced ‘baby boxes’ and other anonymous spaces where infants can be surrendered and immediately cared for. While these initiatives remain controversial, they are rooted in one principle, saving lives while supporting mothers in crisis.

What stands out in many forward thinking societies is the growing recognition that punishment alone does not solve the problem of baby dumping. That is why for a country like Namibia that has excellent laws that protect human rights, why they fail to also protect the vulnerable mother and allow the partner to escape without any consequences.

It is time boys takes accountability and responsilbity to taking part in the process of bringing life to earth. That responsibility cannot soley rest on the mother alone. Too often, women who experience unplanned pregnancies, postpartum depression, rape, domestic abuse or extreme poverty suffer in silence because society shames them rather than supports them.

In many communities, a struggling mother is quickly labelled irresponsible, immoral or unfit, while absent fathers, abusive partners and broken support systems escape scrutiny.

Research supported by the United Nations Children’s Fund (Unicef) has repeatedly shown that child abandonment is often linked to factors like financial hardship, domestic violence, social stigma, homelessness, mental health struggles and lack of family support.
Unicef-supported research in Kazakhstan found that many abandonment cases could be prevented through early social intervention, psychological support, emergency shelter and financial assistance for mothers.

A mother who dumps a baby may indeed need accountability where the law has been broken. But accountability without compassion will never prevent the next tragedy.

We must begin addressing the deeper issues. Postnatal depression, for instance, remains dangerously under-discussed across Africa.

Many women experience severe depression, psychosis, anxiety and emotional instability after childbirth. Some battle suicidal thoughts. Others experience complete emotional detachment from reality. Yet countless women are expected to simply be strong, while carrying the emotional, physical and financial burden of motherhood alone.

The World Health Organisation estimates that about 1 in 5 women globally experience mental health challenges during pregnancy or after childbirth. In low- and middle-income countries, these struggles are often worsened by poverty, stigma and lack of access to mental healthcare. When emotional distress meets desperation and isolation, tragic decisions can happen.

This is why the conversation on baby dumping cannot only be about criminality. It must also be about prevention.

We need stronger maternal mental health services. We need emergency shelters for vulnerable women. We need accessible reproductive health education. We need fathers to take responsibility and be taken to account. We need communities that listen before judging. We need hospitals and social workers trained to identify mothers in distress before crisis escalates.

Most importantly, we need to restore humanity to how we speak about vulnerable women. A society is not judged by how loudly it condemns broken people. It is judged by how effectively it prevents people from breaking in the first place.

– Morna Ikosa is a columnist. The views expressed in this article are not of her employer.

The post Who Sees the Mother! appeared first on The Namibian.